Please Give Him a Junkyard, God by Jan Lynne 1995 "Do you believe in God?" I asked my father. "Of course," he answered. "Do you think you'll go to heaven, Daddy?" "Doubt it." "Why?" "Because I'm a mean ol' son-of-a-bitch." My father's reply didn't shock me, but I can't help but wonder if he knows something I don't. I know what I've been taught about going to heaven, and what I believe. With variations of detail, a lot of what people say is just about the same story, disregarding the grace of God and our salvation: if you're good, you think you might have a chance; if you're bad, you don't. Even for those who don't believe we go to heaven at all, some good coming to us in an afterlife usually boils down to having been a good person throughout life on earth. Hurting others and oneself, drinking, smoking, cussing, lying, lust of the eyes and lust of the flesh are just a few acts that are supposed to keep the doors to God and heaven closed. If that were the case, I'd have to say my father has plenty of reason for doubt. However, his reasoning that he's a "mean ol' son-of-a-bitch" leaves me pondering. Of course, he was only using an expression when saying he was a "son of a...," because he wouldn't really refer to his mother as such. Though I know little of his part-Cherokee mother, due to long distances of separation from extended family while my father served in the United States Army, I know he loved her enough to hitchhike many miles to go to see her when he was on leave. When he was only three years old, his father, a Dutch-German self-proclaimed preacher, cut his foot during a rainy fishing trip and died of blood poisoning. His mother never remarried and my father eventually joined the effort to continue taking care of his "Ma." I have never known him to speak unkindly of her. As for "mean," the word just doesn't fit the description my father's family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances would give him. My mother, however, would have to argue that some of what he has done with a smile on his face during forty-seven years of marriage has been mean--for he has been guilty of breaking her heart a few times. Why she stayed with him through years of such heartaches, long separations, and hardships during his army career may have much to do with the fact that it was harder for a woman to survive without a husband decades ago and divorce was more avoided. However, I am sure it had much to do with him winning over her heart time and time again. He still brings her flowers. Just today, she told me that he brought her a dozen red roses only days after giving her red roses and red carnations on their forty-seventh anniversary. He still knows how to tell her he loves her, soften her, or tell her he's sorry. My father has a way with people. I don't believe I've ever known, or heard of, anyone who has not liked him. If he offends you in any sense, you just have to forgive him. His enemies, if there are any, have always been in hiding. No, my father's no angel and he sure has made my mother, sisters, and I angry with him sometimes, but I've never known anyone outside our family to be angry with him. People immediately like him and don't seem to find fault with anything he does. From as far back as I can remember, he brought home young lonely soldiers who thought the world of him during his twenty-five years of military service. Able to retire on his sixty-fifth birthday this year, after over twenty-one years of employment with Lubrication Systems where he is a senior lube technician, he met his employer's and coworker's regret that he might. Those he's had too many drinks with have most-likely enjoyed his company, possibly beginning at a very young age. When his father died, his oldest brother turned to bootlegging to make a living for the large fatherless family until about a year after World War II began. My father was ten years old when they moved from an old wooden house at the top of a hill in Trawick, Texas near Nacogdoches, to Baytown, Texas where three of his older brothers went to work in the steel mill. He has partaken of