Mr. Robert "Buddy" McFarland's Obituary
Robert "Buddy" McFarland, 83, of Jacinto City entered into rest on Tuesday, August 4, 2009. Survivors include daughters, Debra Stanley and her husband, Michael, Rhonda Brooking and her husband, Brent and Gloria Cuenod and her husband, Rene; son, Kevin McFarland; grandchildren, Monica, Amber, Brittany, Janet and Janice; great-grandchildren, Sierra, Skylar and Elijah James "E.J."; sisters, Judy Holub and Carol McFarland Sterne; brother, Donald McFarland. He also leaves to cherish his memory numerous nieces, nephews, other relatives and a host of friends. Dad served his country in the US Navy; he joined when he was 18 years old. He fought in WWII and served on the destroyer the Farragut in 1944. His ship was a member of the fleet under the command of Admiral Halsey that sailed through a typhoon during WWII. When a wave took the ship up with it the entire back of the ship was out of the water, the waves were so high. Two destroyers sank that night, and he said things were breaking loose on the deck of the ship he was on and they were all terrified that they would sink too. Because of that experience, he felt like he could go through anything which is why he would not evacuate during any hurricane Houston ever had.
When he met my mother, the minute he laid eyes on her, he knew he was going to marry her, and they were married for 56 years before she passed away on July 4th 2007. He was a man of great integrity. He would not lie to you no matter what and he would not cheat a living soul. He did not understand people who did those things because it just simply was not in him. He taught all his children to work hard starting at a very young age. I was 3 years old when they strung a clothes line low to the ground so I could help hang clothes, small things like wash rags. We always had chores to do around the house and yard. He instilled a great work ethic in all of us. To this day all his children follow his example of being loyal, hard workers. We got that from our father.
He loved his wife and children to a fault. He was always trying to protect us from the world and from ourselves. He was overly protective and tried his best to control where we went and what we did, but to no avail. We were always doing things that had to be kept from him lest we get fussed at. He would come home from work hot, tired and hungry but would not eat until everyone in the family had served their plates and he would eat from whatever was left over. On pay days every Thursday he would bring home a special treat for us. He would pick up hamburgers, sodas, and M & M's for the family and we could not have been more thrilled. You could get four large hamburgers for $1 back then and he would always get eight to make sure we had enough.
We never had a lot of money to take big vacations, but we all have fond memories of going to the beach every summer with our mom and Dad, and that was a big deal for us. He and mom stayed in a motel only once during their marriage and that was after they had been married about 53 years when they went with me to a family reunion in Athens, Texas. Dad just wanted to be at home reading and listening to classical music. That was his favorite thing to do.
Dad never went shopping, but one Christmas he got a bonus and decided he wanted to give his kids a big Christmas. He went out and bought a bow and arrow set with a large straw target, a basket ball and hoop which he hung near the garage so we could play. He bought us a volley ball and net that also had badminton rackets. While mother would buy us Barbie dolls, dad would buy us sporting equipment.
A funny story about Dad has to do with a pair of pants he used to wear. They were gray polyester western cut, worn out, tired old pants that he wore every time you saw him. It did not matter what the occasion was, he had those pants on. Snagged and faded he wore them literally everywhere. One day I was in a department store in the men's department and called him on the phone to ask him what size pants he wore. I was going to pick up a couple of pair for him. He said, "I don't need any pants." I said, "But you wear the same pair every time I see you." He said, "I like these pants." I said, "But they look like you bought them at a garage sale." He said, "I did. I paid a dollar for 'em." I wound up going to a western wear store and buying him a new pair just like them, but he never did stop wearing the old pair completely. He would have had a fit if he knew I paid $30 for the new pair.
Dad was not one to call you on the phone to chat. He would talk to you if you called him, but I can count on one hand how many times he ever called me in my life. One time, it was my birthday. He left me a Happy Birthday message on my machine. I cried for 20 minutes before I could call him back, it touched me so.
When one of his sons-in-law, Jim Forgey, was starting his own church Dad wanted to support him so he would go to church every Sunday while Jim was preaching. He purchased several New Testament Bibles and would just give them away to people to make sure they had a Bible.
One time we had a flat tire coming back from the nursing home visiting mother. He would not let me call AAA to fix it, he insisted on changing it himself and he was 81. He was not one to depend on someone else; he was very self reliant. He received great satisfaction knowing he could still be useful after changing that tire. He would fix his own cars and repair his own roof. He was 82 and still crawling up on the roof to fix leaks even when he could not feel his feet because of his diabetes. He lost part of one of his fingers using a roto-rooter machine cleaning out the sewer line. And he would not let you throw anything away. He always thought he would find a use for it. He collected junk and was hard pressed to get rid of any of it.
In his latter years, he lived on his social security check but liked to give money to his kids, and grandkids. Even though he did not have much, when he handed you money, you had better take it or you would get fussed at and anyone who knows Dad, knows you don't want him to start fussing at you. He was very generous to his family. And he loved his grandchildren and great grandchildren. He loved to just be around them and watch them, just to look at them, and sit and visit. He had a very tender heart when it came to his family.
He was a man of keen intellect and would frequently ponder the complex mysteries of the world. Discussions on the nature of subatomic particles were not outside his scope of conversation. One of his favorite sayings was, "Even nothing has a container." Then he would proceed to explain to you why nothing had to have a container. Pretty much any conversation you had with him would somehow end up on the topic of that "container". He really enjoyed conversations on the abstract. He loved books and would choose a books company over a person's company any time. He also loved classical music, and he liked it loud. At one point we had wires and speakers running all through the house so he could listen to his music through the entire house. He used to take us to Miller Outdoor Theater when we were small and we would listen to the symphony while sitting on the hill side on a blanket.
One of his other favorite sayings was, "We are all born insane and the search for God is the search for sanity." He would say that, "God created Satan, God created us and God created earth. He put Satan and us on earth. God was carless with his garbage (meaning Satan) and now he's mad at us because we stink." You had to practice patience when talking to Dad about theology. And all conversations turned towards theology.
Over the years all of his children have gotten closer to our Dad and have learned to understand him better. Wounds have been healed and forgiveness has taken place. He loved us and we loved him. We will all miss him. By Debra Stanley McFarland
first born of "Buddy" I want to say a few things about my father. In the last years of my mother and his life I grew to understand a bit of what he meant with the way he expressed himself in his search for truth and knowledge. He was truly a seeker. "...seek and ye shall find...". The first time he expressed his revalation to me that we were all born insane I completely agreed with him and told him so. I said that is correct. The Christians would call that totally depraved. Born in sin. Unable to come to Christ without his help. I honestly believe he had finally realized the state of the heart of man in the eyes of a Holy God. He had been searching for years to know God and had been so tormented all his life. It was difficult for him to be understood by others because he was a deep thinker, very intelligent and expressed himself in ways that made people very uncomfortable to talk to him for any long and lengthy conversation. He loved a good long debate on the subject of God and theology. My husband Michael had many long discussions with my father about God, the Bible, and truth more than anyone else I know had. My husband has a great deal of knowledge and understanding when it comes to the Bible and the things of God. He also had a lot of patience with my father because a person really needed it when talking to him about these things. My father read a lot of biblical compositions that my husband wrote and he always responded quickly and agreed with nearly everything he said. He wouldn't hesitate to ask Michael what he meant by something he questioned or disagreed with. Michael patiently explained it to him to his satisfaction. He understood my father more than anyone I know. My father was always eager to read more of what Michael had written or had to say. He (my father) was hungry for the things of God, knowledge and understanding truth up until the end. He had a saying that I heard my whole life and that was "even nothing has a container." Nobody understood what he meant by that and I don't even think he knew completely what he meant either; but actually there is some truth to that when it comes to living in eternity without God. Isaiah chapter 40 verse 17 says, "All nations before him are as nothing; and they are counted to him less than nothing, and vanity." Those without Christ will spend eternity "as nothing" in God's container. I had many opportunities to discuss the gospel with him. I planted a lot of seed, others watered; but God brings the increase. God's word never turns void. I told him one of my most important prayers is, "I believe Lord help Thou mine unbelief." I was alway telling him to call upon the name of the Lord because the Bible says. "Whosoever calleth upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." I remember he would smile at me when I said that and he didn't disagree with me or want to argue as he did about so many other things. There are many things that I could say about my father; however, I will close with this: He was the most honest man I have ever known in my life. I never once remember him ever telling a lie. He would have given his life for his wife and kids if it meant saving their lives. I will never forget him and I will always know in my heart that he loved his family dearly. May he rest in the peace of God, for all he needed was the faith the size of a grain of a mustard seed. The smallest of all seeds. His Loving daughter
Debra
AMEN
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